speech

Imagine being 13. having your whole life in front of you. Then suddenly it all tumbles down. It all started back in 99 with a young boy called Jeremy. Jeremy was a very shy lean scruffy child with dark beady eyes who was currently refereed to at school as bean pole because of his long lanky figure. Jeremy was brought up in a poor family on the brink of bankruptcy with his two older brothers Dave and Zack. All three of these brothers were adopted into the family just so the parents could gain there inheritances from the government to enabling them to stay on there feet. However this did not mean that the three brothers were not loved by there foster family.

Jeremy mother and father both slaved away day and night in order to get three meals in front of there three sons. At the age of twelve Jeremy was just a kid brought up in a poor family dreaming to do something great in the world, however he lacked the skill and motivation to put his dreams to light.

Life was going well for the three kids, all were attending school, playing sports, and living life to the fullest. Jeremy’s parents were moving up in the world, both had managed to gain decent reliable jobs providing a constant income stream for there family. All was going well until tragedy struck. It was a rather fine start to the Wednesday. The three kids were taken to school in the old battered sedan which had been in the family for well over 15 years and was starting to show signs of fatigue on its old rusted body. The sun was perched high in the sky and showed no sign of coming down soon. The sky was blue with only a couple of white puffy clouds dotted through it. The day dragged on and by the time both parents came to pick the kids up from school a dark wall of clouds had encased the sun and the rain had just started to bucket down.

And when I say bucket down I mean absolutely bucket down. The whole family, Jeremy included took refuge in the body of the old sedan, still panting from the journey from work to school. The mother started the car, It usually took a few tries to get the old fart of a motor going, but this time it spurted to life straight away as if it wanted to take refuge from the pelting rain as quickly as possible. Rain thundered at the windscreen of the car making it near impossible for Jeremy mother and farther to see the road in front, not even the window wipers on full tit could provide a real view of the winding road home.

I mean considering the circumstances it was no surprise to see the old battered sedan toppled head over heels in a drainage ditch with water pouring in from both ends. Glass and burned rubber scattered the roadside and sirens blared in the distance getting closer and closer. It was an ambulance that arrived first on the scene The officer’s carried bodies out of the crippled body of the now dead sedan, it was impossible to tell who was who, all were caked in blood and drenched in drainage water. They were then all rushed to the nearest hospital all in critical conditions.

Imagine this, you wake up in a hospital, you don’t know where, you’ve been asleep, you don’t know for how long and your strapped to a bed with needles and tubes sticking into you with chemicals running through them into your body. How would you feel? Well this is pretty much what happened to Jeremy and he lost his shit. Jeremy had been in a coma caused by the injury’s that he received in the car crash 3 months ago, since then he has been in a coma on the verge of death until under remarkable circumstances he was pretty much brought back from the dead.

The rest of Jeremy’s family however were not so lucky, His mother and father both died at the scene of the crash and his two other brothers Dave and Zack werent lucky enough to make it to the hospital, Even though they weren’t Jeremy’s real family it was all he ever had and this nearly killed him a second time over. With nothing to lose Jeremy started to rebuild his life and live his dream, of going to the Olympics. And this time around he had motivation as each time he felt like giving up he saw his family staring right back down at him pushing him forwards causing him to rise up. from this day forwards Jeremy hit the gym every day building himself up for his chosen sport of weightlifting, Now lets just say that the reason for Jeremy choosing weight lifting instead of any other sport was due to his new found mental and physical strength that he mysteriously gained after waking up from death.

Jeremy was moving up the ranks in the weight lifting world getting stronger and stronger every day constantly lifting heavier and heavier weight, with the Olympic qualifiers just around the corner it seemed that by the age of 18 Jeremy was going to be one of the youngest ever weight lifters to go in contention of the podium. Due to Jeremy’s status he was scheduled for a stock standard drug test just before the Olympic qualifiers, Due to this being Jeremy’s first ever drug test his results were unknown. However this did not bother him as Jeremy was sure that he had never taken performance enhancing drugs in his life, well at least not to his knowledge. So when a mysterious person arrived outside Jeremy’s well you wouldn’t really call it a house, maybe a small cabin of such if you were lucky. The mysterious man stated that Jeremy had tested positive for every single type of performance enhancing drugs known to man and was disqualified from the up coming Olympics destroying his life long dream.

One Reply to “speech”

  1. This has a very interesting arc as a story – and a good twist at the end.

    I’d encourage you to incorporate more sensory description in the piece. Paint more of a picture for your audience. Selecting things you can see, hear, smell, touch and taste will bring a vivid reality to your plot – which you would then be able to simplify. You don’t have to tell us things, if you’ve already shown us these things though what you’ve described.

    For example you can tell: “He was sad”, or you can show: “He hung his head low, staring at the floor”. The audience will form their own, more nuanced, impression of what is happening for the character.

    Let me know if you’d like more explanation of this.

    CW

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